My husband means the world to me. He is my rock, my protector, my counsel, my confidant. He works tirelessly and selflessly to the very best of his abilities to be a man of action and to live the Gospel. That is where this post needs to begin. I care so much for his wellbeing — and my children’s! — that I would go to the ends of the earth to find the best ways of living and eating that benefit him.
That being said, I obviously want my husband to live a long, happy and healthy life. Sometimes it feels like we don’t share this goal! I think the majority of wives reading this know that if we left our men up to their own devices their diets, routines and sleeping habits would be less-than-ideal… you know, the very things that keep our bodies and minds functioning well. Somehow our men understand that race cars need maintenance and special race fuel, and yet their bodies will be just fine if neglected. That is where we come in.
As wives and mothers, we are the gatekeepers of our homes. It is our first job and duty to perform this function well. We wear many hats to make this happen: timekeeper, secretary, teacher, cook, chauffeur, doctor, nurse, masseuse, personal stylist, maid, seamstress, nutritionist, mama bear (because some situations require claws), entertainer, etc. I mean really, the list can go on and on. But the fruits of our labor are unlike any other profession. The rewards are literally other worldly. You are the caretakers of precious, unique souls. It is worth getting your hands on any tool, resource, book, video, etc. that can help you fulfill this vocation to the best of your ability.
When I began oiling it didn’t take me long to realize that these little amber bottles were full of the real deal — the stuff pharmaceutical companies and perfumieries try to replicate in laboratories and market as life changing, when really it’s just a cheap replication of the original. I like to learn at a rapid rate. Input, input, input! I was devouring books about the chemistry of oils, the best ways to use them, why they work and how to make them work better for my family. They are so versatile that the possibilities seem endless. I still have so much more to learn.
Much like my husband, who enjoys the depth of automotive culture and engineering information, wouldn’t try to teach me about the nitty-gritty of his hobbies, it would have been foolish of me to try to “educate” him about mine. The greatest thing about our relationship is that we let each other thrive in our respective strong points, and help each other in our weak areas.
My husband has always trusted me and my intuition, as well as my research, when it comes to our health, wellness, and lifestyle. What a huge honor! But also a huge responsibility. This means I set the standard and he follows suit. I better know what I’m doing!
The more I researched the more it felt right in my heart to shuck the status quo and actively pursue wellness. And I really had to combat self-doubt, fears, and other people’s skepticism! You gotta do what’s right for YOUR family, not what other people want you to do!
That being said, we have a marriage infused with mutual respect. My husband never doubted or mocked me. He eats what I cook (okay, he was pretty mad that one time I only made sautéed cabbage with capers for dinner) without complaint. He drinks what I put in front of him, and takes the capsules I give to him without worry. What a beautiful, (mostly) harmonious, symbiotic relationship of trust.
How did I begin? How can you, too, assist your husband in wellness?
• I used everything first. And I used them on my baby second. If hubby could see the benefits I was getting from the products, he’s more apt to be game to use them on himself even if it is just to placate me. Plus the allure of Lady Sclareol, Joy, Vetiver, Orange and some of the other hyper-feminine oils that I was wearing most definitely helped. Yes, really. 😏😏
• I didn’t bother him with the nitty gritty. Just like he doesn’t put me on his garage body roller thingy (come to find out they’re called ‘creepers’) and force me to learn about transistors and sprockets (I don’t even know how to give a proper example), I don’t involve him in the ordering, and I don’t make the products stressful or complicated.
• We own a farm. My husband does all of the hard labor, and there is a lot of it, under the grueling sun with Oklahoma allergies assaulting his poor sinuses the whole time. What’s the first way I got oils on him? I began massaging him at the end of the day with a drop of PanAway in a puddle of OrthoSport massage oil. Boy howdy, did that make a difference on both his aching muscles AND in our marriage.
• I bought him his own bottle of Bergamot. I had smelled Shutran and didn’t like it much. But when a friend told me about her husband, who sounded very similar to my own, who heralded Bergamot as his can’t-do-without oil, I immediately ordered one. I think the consideration was special to him. He could claim it as his own, decide when and where to apply it, and not have me mommying or nagging him. Aaaaand he smells delicious.
• I dispense the products for him. I have a tiny little 2oz. jar that I fill up with NingXia Red and just set in front of him while he’s in a meeting or preparing for his day. Sometimes if I know he hasn’t slept, and he’s pushing himself too hard I’ll give him another 2oz. midday. Thirty minutes before a meal I give him a Digest & Cleanse. I have intentions behind all of it. I know which products to give him and why. This is a main reason why he trusts me to do so; I don’t go about this all willy nilly!
• I respect his dignity and free will. If he tells me he didn’t like burping up DiGize all day because I gave it to him in a capsule, I listen to him and figure out a different way to get it on and/or in his body. If he doesn’t like the smell of Dream Catcher, I’ll apply it to his feet instead of his neck (and then enjoy listening to him snore in the deepest of sleeps, hallelujah).
• I actively pursued “ditching & switching” everything gross in our household. The “medicine” cabinet was purged. The weird bright blue dish soap (and lots of other soaps — including our once-beloved Mrss Meyer’s hand soap, lotions and house cleaners) were donated. I made it my priority to have a chemical-free, safe home. Now when he washes dishes (or his hands) with the Thieves soaps, not only is he safe and clean, but he is absorbing the EOs from the soaps through his skin. Boom. #allthebergamot
• I apply the oils to him lovingly and confidently. There is zero skepticism or sniggering when I anoint his forehead with Idaho Blue Spruce, or when we work on emotional release alarm points, or during Raindrop Therapy. I strive to maintain a respectful, calm and assured environment. God and I know the benefits he’s receiving. That’s good enough for me.
• Consistency. I don’t waiver. When I know something works, I keep using it. And if there are specific body systems that need work, I do some research, formulate a plan, order what I need (because Essential Rewards gets me 25% back anything I spend) and do the damn thing.
So that’s that. We are now both enjoying an oily wellness lifestyle. No, he hasn’t completely replaced his morning coffee with NingXia Nitro and he doesn’t reach for my oil box like he does his tool box. And that’s okay, because that’s who he is! That’s why I am his wife, his compliment. I let him be him, but I still guide the direction of our family’s wellness because it is that important. We only get one body and one life. This isn’t something to ignore mindlessnessly and hope it works out. And Lord knows we weren’t made to settle for poor health — if your body is crying out via symptoms like headaches, low energy, less than ideal moods, rashes, indigestion, etc. it is time for a tune up (NOT a prescription)!!
Remember how I mentioned Bergamot? I had no idea how powerful the emotional and mental properties of this oil would be. It did have powerful effects on my husband — to the point that if he was in an off mood I would catch myself saying “did you wear your Bergamot today?” to which sometimes he would admit he forgot to put it on. So if you too have an overworked, meticulous, type-A loved once in your life, know that Bergamot helps with anxiety, agitation, stress and depression. Just saying.