The Bespoke Fit

Have you ever stopped to contemplate the one-size-fits-all culture we live in? My husband and I were talking about this recently (actually we’ve been perpetually talking about it for months) when it came to clothes… the good old days when clothing was bespoke by your own mother with scraps of cloth and hard work at the sewing machine gave your clothing something special. First of all, it fit you properly. It was made for you, for your size down to the millimeter. It was made with love and intention; with hard work and dedication. You appreciated it because it was irreplaceable… it was valuable beyond just the cost of material. You wore it for every occasion — to play, to work, to grocery shop, to weed the garden. And no one else in the world had the same outfit as you.


Today, we all head out to Target or the mall. We all find our “size” in the shirt that however many hundreds if not thousands of other people have purchased. We’re disappointed with the quality of materials, with the cut, the fit, but not disappointed enough to do anything about it. More stores open to cater to niche markets — that’s right, they’re making stuff just for you… and everyone else kind of like you.

But… no one else is like you.

I have a beautiful book that I read to my seven-month-old son, entitled “On the Night You Were Born”. My favorite line that I want him to always remember is “…for never before in story or rhyme, not even once upon a time, has their ever been a you my friend. And there never will be, not ever again.” You deserve a bespoke lifestyle. Your very being from your genetic makeup to how your DNA expresses itself in certain environments to what things turn you on, catch your attention, make you feel sick or feel fantastic is so particular to you that you don’t fit into any certain “niche”.

“On the Night You Were Born” by Nancy Tillman

I was reminded of this today because I’ve been literally pouring over information on essential oils for the past three days. In fact, it has so obsessed me that I barely slept for two days in a row (and that’s saying a lot when, while living with an infant, sleep is precious!). A friend of ours stayed the night last night — a beautiful, older woman friend full of wisdom and life and vigor, who knows herself inside and out — and I was telling her about some of the things I was learning about the oils. She smiled and said she was glad I was finally questioning some things around me. And then she told me how much she loved the Pikake flower, a type of Jasmine. I flipped open my pocket reference book and began reading to her what it said about Jasmine.

No joke, I felt like if I could bottle my friend and write a description about her, it would be what I was reading.

Jasmine is all about beauty and seduction; about femininity, stimulation and a certain uplifted-ness. It’s used to help with anxiety, depression, PMS, skin problems and frigidity… it counteracts hopelessness, nervous exhaustion and indifference. We were particularly tickled by the fact that it’s nicknamed ‘queen of the night’ and ‘moonlight of the grove’ as this friend just gave me the most beautiful bedtime book for J, “Grandfather Twilight”. One pound of Jasmine oil requires about 1,000 pounds of fresh jasmine — that’s 3.6 MILLION fresh, unpacked, unblemished jasmine blossoms picked before sunrise.

“Grandfather Twilight” by Barbara Berger

…And it speaks directly to my friend’s soul, which her body already knew. That’s why jasmine in particular, out of all the thousands of oils and fragrances, stuck out to her. It’s basically her essence, bottled.

When I started on this essential oil journey, a trusted friend that I reached out to who I felt knew so much more about the science and therapeutic uses of the oil recommended that I diffuse one oil, use another on the bottoms of my feet, and another to ingest. She didn’t recommend which ones, which kind of drove me crazy. But the thing is,  she couldn’t because she’s not me. She doesn’t have the inclination that my own body and intuition do. Like my friend, who soaks in the glow of Jasmine as it illuminates everything in her that makes her feel like her, I needed to find the oils that spoke to me.

Because I had purchased a starter kit from Young Living all the way back in February, I had a few oils to play around with. I began with putting DiGize on my feet because, as you read in my first post, I’m trying to undo gut damage by completing an elimination diet (which, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop eating this way, to be honest). I started diffusing RC because I liked the fresh smell of lemongrass and put lemon oil in my water for it’s liver-cleansing properties (again, my goal is to eliminate toxins.. and the biggest organ in your body that does that is your liver).


But, as I had recently done away with all of my over the counter pain medication as recommended by Brogan in the “A Mind of Your Own” book, I needed something to help me with a particularly debilitating case of TMJ. I looked up pain in the pocket reference book and decided to use PanAway, a refreshing minty blend, on my jaw, ear and neck. I was genuinely amazed when the pain stopped. I could open my mouth wider for the first time in days. The ache wasn’t constantly gnawing at me. It felt like witchcraft.

So, I began reading the pocket reference book from the beginning instead of just looking up individual therapeutic uses. Holy crap, the science is overwhelming. The historical uses are overwhelming. I was hooked. I will forever be hooked. This is the bespoke, healing medicine I have needed my whole life. I am forever done with the one-size-fits-all culture. I’m taking back what my particular body needs for nutrients, for diet, for complimentary clothing and makeup. I’m rejecting what my body tells me is harming it, like conventional cleaners, toothpaste and cosmetics. I’m listening. For the first time in years, I’m listening. And I’m giving myself what we all deserve: a bespoke fit.





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